Reviewed by Tony Cummings

You know, I'm now two thirds of the way 'in' to this, the most historic issue of Cross Rhythms, and I'm still awaiting my first burst of euphoria, that hoped for rush of a sense of achievement. Maybe it's because God doesn't want me to wallow in back-slapping self congratulation ("5 years of Cross Rhythms, aren't we clever?") that make all those gospel awards so tacky. Maybe it's because my head is still thick with the flu and I'm only half way through the 40 or so albums I'm reviewing. Or maybe it's that I've come again to the name which can cause grown men to cry and music journalists to wonder whether there are any openings at the job centre in accountancy or the bottle factory. Well, what is there left to say about this gruesome series? You know by now they feature a cutsey choir of squeaky voiced kiddywinkers seemingly transmuted from an episode of the Waltons and forced to sing a crass never ending medley of ditties. On 'Toddler Tunes' you've got "Eensy Weensy Spider", "Pop Goes The Weasel", "The Wheels On The Bus", "Oh Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone" and 22 more. On side two you get them all again, this time arranged 'split tracks'.

Also reviewed in CR33:
This album should carry a government health warning. I am convinced that kindly old Admiral Cummings sends me albums like this to review for two reasons. Firstly, he longs to see his underlings squirm. Secondly, he wants to avoid possible social services action against him for cruelty to his own children if they have to hear this tosh. 'Toddler Tunes' gives you an unremitting happy medley of jolly kiddie tunes sung in American accents and is more painful than having your toe nails pulled out.
1
Mike Rimmer

The opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those held by Cross Rhythms. Any expressed views were accurate at the time of publishing but may or may not reflect the views of the individuals concerned at a later date.

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