Suicidal thoughts

I became a christian, when i was so broken i was contemplating suicide, and my Lord spoke out to me. I had moved out of my original place where i was born and where my family continued to live, i had made a friend with someone in my home town, then she moved, i decided a few years after that i would like to move to the same place as she had moved to, it was a big step for me leaving my home town and family, but felt this friend was worth the move, then one day a terrible thing happened and we fell out, i felt so alone and out of conntact with every one. I was going to ring home and speak with my mother, and then realised she would just tell me i needed Jesus as she had been saying for so long. The next thought was suicidal, then my God told me my answer was in the bible, i pushed what i thought was my own thoughts to one side, thinking that maybe i had thought this thought because i was thinking of speaking to my mom, then a voice inside my head said the answer is in the bible, i then began to listen, reached for a bible that was on a book shelf, and thoought well this is a big book where in here would be the answer, i was then spoken to again,"just open the bible" I did and the page i opened it on was psalm 116, my God is a wonderful God, and i thank him for reaching out to me that day and saving me. LOVE YOU LORD!

Submitted by lorraine on 17 Jun 2004

Lord, u no wat i waz like befor i met u. i just want 2 say thankyou 4 eveything uve dun for me. U RULE

Submitted by Nikki on 21 May 2004

I became a christian when I was 11 and even from an early age I put God first in my life. Over the years it's amazing what God does, the holy sprit is so fulfilling and wonderful!

Submitted by Alexander on 28 Apr 2004

I was born on the mission field and from day 1 i have never been able to deny that God was blatantly real, but after moving back to England after a lot of heartache due to leaving what i felt was my home and losing some ppl who were very dear to me i started lookin for concolation in smokin then drugs then alchohol and finally realtionships. None worked and i decided that noone would miss me so i tried takin my life but i neva had the guts to take it far enough.. So i confined myself to self harm. When i was younger i was also sexually abused which took so long for me to forgive myself for as i felt so worthless even tho i had been able to totally forgive the person who did it. After 3and half yrs of it God really started drawin me back to him. Ever since he has one by one cleaned me in and out and has softened my heart once more so that i can trust ppl and love them which at one point i found so hard. He has challenged me a lot and even since coming back to Christ some things have been really hard. I watched my older bro, who had always been a pillar of strength to me, fall away from Christ, i had one of my friends die, and all around me were ppl high on drugs and completely heartbroken, lookin back though, i can see so clearly how God god was bringing me thru safely tho tenthoasand were fallin at my side (psalm 91) and now he uses me to disciple ppl who have been thru the same things as me and my testimony is powerful in their lives thru Gods grace. He had brought good out of bad! God has since placed me in leadership positions and raised me up to be someone i could never imagine being. To God be the glory! For he can do imeesurably more than all we can ask or imagine Praise God! Lookin back can still sometimes be painful, but i know that with jesus by my side and the cross always before me, I'm gonna make it!

Submitted by Keder on 26 Feb 2004

yes is the answer to my question! though at seven i didnt realise it and so i didnt do anything about it... i have gone to church for almost my entire life. my parents are both christians, so are my older brother and sister. when i was 7, we came home from church one day. at sunday school i learnt that i just needed to ask GOD into my life and that i would be saved. so i got home, went into my room and at the door i stopped, put my hands together, and said "Lord, give me a new heart and help me to live right." did GOD answer my prayer? of course he did! and i listened. however, it stopped there. i didnt tell my friends, or anything like that, and sometimes i was ashamed. it wasnt until a a couple of years ago that i started to become a Jesus Freak, and not a very good one at that! i gradually began to tell a few people, but as soon as something bad happened i went back into a shell and stopped talking. then last year in January my youth leader started talking about getting baptised. i was all up for it and said i wanted to get baptised, it felt right, and just before then i started sinning with a couple of mates. unfortunately my godfather couldnt be there so i said i'll do it another time. when the next opportunity came (2nd Nov last year) we called him to see if he would come. he couldnt again. this time i thought that i should just get baptised its not about how many people show up this is a thing between me and GOD and i cant put it off any longer. so i got baptised and it transformed my life. ever since i have been a complete Jesus Freak and ive been trying to get a load of mates to convert. i really want to thank GOD for saving my life and letting me have paridise!

Submitted by Aidan on 7 Feb 2004

whilst walking through hanley out shopping for clothes ,to go out that night with my mates .it was raining and i stepped over a soggy booklet i went back to that booklet and picked it up ,i was 31 and it was 14 months ago and it has tranformed my whole life this booklet aws 30 steps to get to know your god .the only time i have come across god is at school and sunday school it aws never mentioned in any other way whilst i was growing up ,however when i became a christian i saw my life going back in slow motion and saw where he has been .well i started to read this booklet and every page related to what was happening in my lifa ,and i thought on way this is amazing, i told my friend that i need to go church so i met her outside the church that she goes ,i couldnt believe it ,it was the same church my older sister used to go ,the same sister that i used to tease , i now why i did that it was because i didnt understand any of it and wasnt brave enough to try as i thought my life was fine ,please pray for this sister as she has now backsliden + i know god has placed me in that church for a reason ,the first time i went into the church i felt wow a man was talking at the front about his life , i call him my holy sprit man as he called people down to the front who would like to recieve a gift from god i got drawn to the front something i would of never done ,the next thing i knew was when i was waking up on the floor i thought what has happened to me ,i got in my car and just sat there and cried the feeling of wow was still with me , i felt on a high for weeks my desire to get to know about god was unreal and god was with me all the time ,the people at my church helped me with loads of answers i needed explaining and they get to hear the mega things everyweek that god has done ,i also writen these down , my mates come to church at times with me + everyone who knows or meets me know about god at some point in the coversation i have with them ,i got baptised in august + it was amazing ,my life has changed in a amazing way ,iv also had a negative up bringing which led to family breakdowns with my siblings and parents with god by my side i have been blessed to b able to take a lead role and restore these slowly for the fist time in my life i have loved christmas due to having jesus and my family i have been so blessed throughout my life and the best blessing is to know godand the reason and plan that he has for me and not go on my own understanding and that i know my past has gone and my life has just started praise the lord because he is love

Submitted by liza on 3 Jan 2004

I was born just over 3 months earlym, in 1986, i was severly brain damaged and should never have been able to walk or should have been seriously menatlly underdeveloped. and yet, i am here, i can walk and i have an above average IQ. Just shows that God wanted me in this world and that He has a plan for me. I come from a non believing family, my mother has never been sure of her faith, and my father got kicked out of our house when i was 3,even so he is also a non beliver. However my mother still took me to church when she was around and supported me as i decided to go to both a Catholic and then a C of E church school. she then decided that she wanted me to be confirmed, so i went to the classes read the Bible, but didn't believe with my heart, it came top the day of my conformation and after saying the first 2 lines of the Apostl'es creed i walked out. I was 11. I am now 17. The 6 years without God in my life have put me through truma heartache and suffering, i have been lost and alone with no one and no where to turn. So i turned to drugs, acoholism,self-harm and suicide attempts. I pushed my family away and turned my back on my friends. Then in September of last year, my mother found out but did not believe that i had tried to take my own life, she threw me out the house and sent me to live with my dad. I moved school's and found myself surrouned by people with a very strong faith, i found myself being preached to and i just tuned out, i then got invited to church with one of my friends, went and found myself starting to question faith and God and if there was one. In October this year after trying to take my own life again, and befoore i went into a psychiatric unit i was walking along a beach in poole after being given a bible by a friend's grandmother, i was walking along the beach and found myself talking to God. I asked questions and asked Him, if He could accept me for who i am and what I've done, to give me a sign. Then i was sitting on the balcony loooked up and saw a cloud In the shape of Jesus' head on the Cross. Since then i have believed and i have found strength and hope and life in God. and i am now getting baptised in January

Submitted by Kat on 18 Dec 2003

Lord, Before I met with you completely I was lost. I seemed to be the perfect Christian but people did not know what went on in my mind. You beat these evil powers, Lord, you saved me from spiralling downwards into what could never be restored. Lord, I praise your name! You comforted me when I needed it, you forgave me when I sinned again and again. Now I have met with you fully and love has driven out the hate in my soul. Now I know i can truly be saved. I may still trip up but my feet are steadily walking your road. Sometimes it looks as if I am going to lose the trail but you find me and set me to rights. You are the Good Shepherd and I was your missing lamb. Now you have found me, your love surrounds me and I can be a child of God once more. Thank you Lord.

Submitted by Naomi on 27 Nov 2003

I've seen the worst of the worst. Seeing my friends die and watching friends get sentenced with harsh sentences not capable for the average man to serve. So I joyfully thank JESUS CHRIST for saving my soul from satan and hell.(Admire, cherish, believe, have faith, value, and give THE SAVIOR my praise cheerfully.)

Submitted by Reginald on 18 Nov 2003

i was suffering form very bad nightmares that stopped me from slleping over a period of 6 months. whilst at a christian camping weekend i was listening to the worship band and i just started crying. i prayed that night with my youth worker and i felt so much peace in my heart that night, i've never had another nightmare since.

Submitted by ami on 11 Nov 2003