Exodus 16:2, Philippians 2:14-15

Cathy Madavan reflects on the need for us to stop complaining

Cathy Madavan

I was recently driving through a small market town when I saw a sign outside a pub that caused me to almost swerve across the road. Written on a chalk-board on the pavement by the pub entrance were the words:

"TUESDAY NIGHT is GRUMBLE NIGHT! Come in and have a moan!"

I couldn't quite believe what I was reading. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry! Part of me was horrified at the thought, part of me was curious and part of me, if I am brutally honest, thought that it was a brilliant idea and I would love to go and get a load of my chest next Tuesday!

We all like a good grumble don't we? We love to put the world to right with a friend, casting our pearls of wisdom around liberally over the state of the education system, bad drivers, annoying people or the way the church gets it wrong. There is never a shortage of material - the world is hardly perfect after all.

The Bible has no shortage of people who like a grumble night - particularly the people of Israel who made a habit of grumbling and complaining against Moses and Aaron and even against God himself. (Exodus 16:2 for one of many examples).

These chosen people could have focused on how God had saved them, but they didn't. They could have reminded each other of how God had provided for them, but they didn't. They could have spoken words of encouragement and support to their leaders. Apparently not.

Grumbling is a choice. Craig Groeschel*, the American pastor, reminds us that we can choose whether to be vultures or humming birds. Vultures spend all day looking for decay and death and always find what they are looking for and likewise, humming birds spend all day looking for nectar and life and find that too. Similarly, when I wake up and prepare myself for a day with my spouse, my friends, my colleagues, the supermarket assistant and the world I am absolutely sure that if I look hard enough (like for about two minutes) I will find plenty of stuff to drive me totally crazy with frustration. But if I choose to submit my mind to Christ and look through his eyes there will also be moments of life, potential and possibility all around me. The question I have to ask myself is: What am I looking for? What do I enjoy finding?

I'm not advocating that we all go about like a load of jolly holy Mary Poppins characters who disengage our brains and fail to critique things or show wisdom or discernment. And there are times where we have legitimate concerns and struggles that should be shared or burdens with health, relationships or other challenges that we need support with. It is not grumbling to be authentic and real as we seek God's guidance and accept help from others along the tougher parts of our journey.

But when we move into grumbling, it is not such a positive conversation. We unwittingly display the darker side of our soul - pride, self-righteousness, lack of trust and accountability or plain rebelliousness. We all like to be right, and we rather like to reinforce ourselves by finding other people who share our dissatisfaction. And so we give ourselves permission to moan and groan about life and people under the guise of sharing until we lose sight of our murky motivation.

But I don't think God is pleased with people who have a grumbling spirit. (He made that pretty clear to the people of Israel eventually). Even today, speaking as a church leader's wife, I suspect that God would love a few more people in his church who would move from being problem spotters to solution finders. He needs us all to play our part in creating a culture of hope as we, disciples of Jesus, choose to think more upon what is good and lovely than what gets on our nerves.

Philippians 2:14-15 says this: "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, 'children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.' Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky".

It stands out when we refuse to engage in gossip or destructive chatter. It changes the culture around us when we decide not to talk down our church or our boss. It models something to our children, to our friends and to our colleagues when, despite the lack of perfection around us, we step out of the darkness and shine a light.

So I'm going to give Grumble Night a miss after all. Instead, I'm thinking about booking in a Gratitude Night. Care to join me?

*Craig Groeschel - Soul Detox, published by Zondervan 2012