Kat Mills reflects on her response to recent challenges and God's encouragement to look to Him.

Kat Mills

In the last year I have seen so much growth in my life, in the way I deal with situations and respond to things changing. I have been on a journey of discovery in how I work and how God made me. I have been learning how to grow in these areas and put healthy boundaries in my life. After years of being crippled by worries and anxiety I have felt so much more peaceful, and confident of my identity.

You can imagine my frustration over the last few weeks then, as I suddenly looked up from where I was and saw old habits trying to creep back in. I felt weighed down, stressed and overwhelmed. I was confused because I knew how far I had come and so it made me cross with myself and sent me into an unhealthy spiral. This had all been triggered off, like is often the way, when one thing after the other came my way.

Firstly, I got a really bad cold with a hacking cough that kept me up at night, which left me over tired and just generally feeling run down. This triggered some other health issues, which made me even more frustrated and unwell. Also, my son finally received his funding for one-to-one assistance at school through, and the extra hours he is now doing has thrown up a heap more challenges. It can already feel like as a parent with a child with additional needs you are continually fighting to be understood and get the right help, so my week was topped off by my doctor telling me that I needed to go home and have a nice rest, I wanted to ask, how? When?!

I caught myself just focusing on all the challenges, pain, and worries, and I felt so down and overwhelmed. It made me revert to retreating from the world and everyone in it, which is not a healthy thing. I questioned God about what was going on and then it hit me!

I had been trying to deal with everything on my own, and I had got so focused on the worries, and everything coming my way that I had taken my eyes off my God, who I believe is bigger than it all. So often in my life I have experienced what happens when I surrender my worries to Him, and I had forgotten to do this. With the burdens on my back, I felt crippled by the weight. I felt God gently remind me how He had gone ahead of me in so many things and how He had help me to overcome so much simply when I asked for His help and relied on Him. He reminded me how He had answered so many prayers and how He had led so clearly for my son's schooling and getting the right help.

So instead of focusing on the positive, I had zoomed in on all that was going on and understandably felt dragged down. I chose to turn my eyes back to God and simply asked for His help.

I have once again been asking for daily strength and encouragement and for Him to lead me through each day. As I have done this, I have felt the weight of the burdens slip off my shoulders. The issues that were causing the worries haven't disappeared, but I am no longer trying to do it by myself, and I am trusting whole-heartedly in God.

It reminded me that our lives are journeys where we will have good times and times when we don't cope well, as well as times of trial and hardship. No matter what we walk through, we do not have to walk alone. Even if we forget, we can turn back to Him, and ask for His strength. I believe He loves us and I can say that when I rely on Him in the midst of the storms of life, He provides refuge.

What about you?