Heather Bellamy spoke with Sheila Jones about how important giving is to God and the responsibility He places on us as He treats us as sons.

Many years later I was short of money and praying very much to the Lord, "Please, please provide." I was living with friends so I wasn't starving, but I hadn't contributed anything into the housekeeping and I felt very mean. It wasn't right to just sponge off them. I said, "God, please do something."

The scripture verse that came to mind was, 'You have not because you ask not, and when you ask, you ask amiss to spend it on your own pleasures.' Well, I was really cross with God, because I said, "God, I am asking and I am not asking to spend it on my pleasures. I'm asking for things I need." Again the scripture came clearly to mind, 'Let him who stole, steal no more, but rather, let him work so that he may have something to give to those in need.' The Holy Spirit said to me, "You see, you get money in order to give." That was a new idea to me. I was praying for the money for what I needed. It hadn't occurred to me that He wanted me to give, apart from just nice little offerings. So I said, "Lord, I'm very sorry, I didn't know you thought about it like that. I will try to adjust my thinking so that my first priority is to give, after having paid my bills."

So having prayed about that, the next morning in the post I had a cheque for £50! This is a good few years ago, so £50 was a lot of money. I thought, "Oh! So the tithe for God, which is £5, a nice big contribution to my hostess, one or two minor bills to pay off, a gift to my friend in India who's struggling. Thank you Lord, I've given it all."

Then the next morning I had another cheque for £50 and I was absolutely dumbfounded. The thing is, God is realistic. He doesn't make it hard for us to understand. When we get the point, He says, "Yes, now you've got the point." So, tithe goes away and then I said, "Right Lord, now what shall I give?" I can't remember the detail now, but He told me, "I want you to give so much and so much and so much." So I gave so happily. Then there was another £5 left and He said, "You can have that for yourself" And I said, "Oh! Thank you!"

That was a deep lesson to me to rearrange my thinking. Within His kingdom, of course, we have to be honourable, paying our debts. One of our debts is to pay Him His tithe for living here on the earth, but apart from that, in His kingdom it's more important to give, and I think, "Okay Lord, thank you very much."

Heather: We've been talking about giving, but interestingly He taught you something else when you gave wrongly didn't He?

Sheila: That was another situation. I was in India and I had received a big gift; it was £500. As soon as I received it I thought in my spirit, "That will cover my costs when I go home. I'll have something to live on when I'm in Britain." I was due to come home fairly soon.

Later that day I was in a prayer meeting with the staff at church and one of the pastors from central India said, "Please pray. I desperately need transport. I need a scooter to get around and visit all the people. I'm trying to go on a bicycle and it just takes too much time." And I thought, "Oooh, I've got that big gift. I could give it to him and wouldn't it look amazing if he just says, "Please pray," and immediately he has the answer. I was quite taken up with this dramatic answer to prayer. And so I said to him after the meeting, "I can give you the money." Of course he was amazed, but when I went home I was uneasy in my spirit, but I was too proud to admit that perhaps I had made a mistake, so I didn't.

I was short of money for several months. For six months it was really difficult and I prayed, I repented and I asked God's forgiveness, but I was still too proud to take it back. It was a difficult time. I couldn't think why God hadn't apparently forgiven me; why things didn't start flowing again. Then a friend, a wise and godly man, said to me, "I've prayed about your situation. I think the only word I have from God is that you gave away God's provision."

I went away and thought about it and felt God saying, "That is what you did. I had given you the money for six months. It was yours. You chose to give it away, but it was not then my responsibility to give you any more." It was one of the most valuable lessons I ever learned, because I felt that God was treating me as a grown up child and not as a baby. He said, "It was yours. You were free to give it, because I had given it to you, but it was up to you what to do with it." That is amazing.

God gives us so much freedom and responsibility as we grow. If I had listened to Him first, I would have been less enthusiastic about a big dramatic gesture.

Heather: Would you say you trust Him as a Father with money and to provide for you?

Sheila: I do. Nowadays it's different though, because I have the privilege of having my pension. I had 25 years without a set income. Sometimes I was in this country and had part-time work and sometimes I didn't, but in one way or another, I always had money. Then I became 60 and had my pension and I'm deeply grateful for living in a welfare state and having my pension provided, so that it's easier now. If that went, I would have to pull my socks up and start trusting God again.