CR spoke with Sandra Harnisch-Lacey about the release of her new book

Sandra: I just threw myself onto God and I found so much comfort in knowing that Rob had gone to be with the God he loved. Rob was safe and I found my safety in that knowledge. Heaven is now so much more real and tangible than it ever was before.

Heather: How did Rob face death?

Sandra: When Rob was diagnosed with cancer and finding out about the grim prospects of bladder cancer, we had to look death in the eye. It was devastating - we were only married for 6 months and we thought we had a whole life together ahead of us. In December 2001 Rob was actually sent home to die after the doctors had given up on him. We spent time talking about death and heaven and tried to take the sting out of it. He then recovered miraculously and lived for another 4 years until the cancer came back vehemently. We put our whole trust in God, hoping and praying for healing but at the same time chosing to live every moment of this precious time together. The story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and the fiery furnace became our anchor point - we knew God could heal Rob, but even if he didn't, we wouldn't stop trusting him. Rob always said: 'I win both ways - either I'm going to see my children grow up and be a husband to my wonderful wife or I'm going to be with my God in heaven'.

Heather: Has it been therapeutic writing this book?

Sandra: It has definitely been a very cathartic process being able to talk about our life together during the initial interview stages. This process played a much bigger part in working through things than I originally thought. Steve Stickley, who worked from the transcribed interviews, sent them back chapter-by-chapter for me to check through and I amended where necessary. Reading back my own life filled me with joy and tears, but also really helped me to move forward in my grieving process.

Heather: As you look back what are the happy memories that stand out?

Sandra: There are many, many happy memories that stand out - our wedding and the birth of our children definitely top the list.

Heather: What are your hopes with this book?

Sandra: I really hope this book will help people going through loss and bereavement. I hope it will inspire people to never give up, to keep on hoping despite all the odds that life throws at them, to keep faith in God, because he holds them safe - always.

Heather: Will you continue writing and working in the theatre?

Sandra: Yes, I do hope so. I'm a choreographer and run my own Dance Company called Harnisch-Lacey Dance Theatre. We have just finished a successful premier and tour of SPIN, which mixes contemporary dance with urban dance styles of parkour and breakdance. SPIN takes you on a journey in and out of hope and is inspired by personal stories of making the impossible possible, turning obstacles into opportunities. When I don't choreograph, I teach dance and Pilates to all levels and abilities.

Heather: Rob wrote a lot of poems, many of which you share in the book. Could you share one with us now that reflects how he lived?

Sandra: There are many poems, which reflect different parts of Rob's personality, but this one for me particularly reflects Rob's fighting spirit, living life in the face of cancer.

Heavy Cross