Emily Graves considers body image and the pressure on girls to diet

Emily Parker

In January 2014, an app on the iTunes store called 'Plastic Surgery & Plastic Doctor & Plastic Hospital Office for Barbie', was removed following an activist group called Everyday Sexism started a campaign on Twitter to get Apple to remove it. The app in question was aimed at young girls and taught them how liposuction works and gave them the opportunity to see liposuction in action on a fake girl on the app. The description for the app said: "This unfortunate girl has so much extra weight that no diet can help her. In our clinic she can go through a surgery called liposuction that will make her slim and beautiful. We'll need to make small cuts on problem areas and suck out the extra fat. Will you operate her, doctor?"

When I first heard of this, it made me shudder at the thought of what is being encouraged and how this has got to the stage of being a game and okay for young girls to play. It opens an adult world to a child, something they shouldn't be exposed to, and it is the stepping stone for them to start questioning their own appearance and how others see them.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Beauty is not just about appearance but also personality. Not every female in the UK and around the world looks the same. Actress Kate Winslett over the years has spoken on how she sees her own body, she said, "I accept my body. I accept how I am and make the best of what I am given."

In November 2013, actress Jennifer Lawrence, who plays the leading female role in the film series, the Hunger Games, did an interview with the BBC about the movie and said, "I'm never going to starve myself for a part. That's something I was really conscious of during training, when you're trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong, not thin and underfed." In another interview she also said, "In Hollywood, I'm obese. I'm considered a fat actress. I eat like a caveman. I'll be the only actress who doesn't have anorexia rumours! I don't want little girls to be like, 'Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I'm going to skip dinner!'"

What can we do to encourage our friends, daughters and mothers to love themselves exactly how they are:

Be careful what we say about ourselves in front of others
A friend of mine shared a promise she had made to herself with me recently. She said, "I have a three year old daughter and when she was born, one of the promises I made to myself was that I would never speak negatively about my body in front of her. Why did I make that promise? It was easy for me; I didn't want to talk about diets. I didn't want to talk about how I was feeling badly about myself because I want her to realise there are more important things on the agenda for my life than what is going on with my body and what it looks like". I love the decision that Emma has made, as when her daughter grows up she will be able to make decisions for herself and have the space to learn to love herself as she won't have had any pre-conceptions passed on to her from the main role model in her life.

Complement each other
"That dress really suits you", "I love what you've done to your hair", "You are really pretty", are all phrases which are always so lovely to receive and make you feel great about yourself. However if you flip the coin, how do you feel complimenting others? Sometime we don't complement each other enough. The key is doing it and being honest and not just saying it for the sake of it. If it makes you feel great, wouldn't it be great to know someone else feels the same?

For children, create a safe environment at home where they can be honest
Create opportunities for talking to your children. Attempt to always be open with them so they know that they can talk and don't turn things into 'taboos'. Around the dinner table is a great time of the day to share about what's happened that day.

Talk through the myths about getting to that 'perfect' shape and weight
Talk to each other about the different theories or what you've heard other say. No, starving yourself isn't the answer and yes it can lead to eating disorders, but how about exercise and eating a healthy diet? There are so many formula's to getting the right, tight, defined stomach or the right weight loss regime that we can so easily get caught up in it all. Don't be afraid to chat with others to find out other people's opinions to help formulate your views.

Be a role model to others
If we can get all the other points cracked then you will find that people will notice that you are doing something differently. If you accept how you are, that then flows from you and others will notice. Sometimes we don't realise how much other people are watching us in the decisions we make and in how we talk. We all influence each other.

So are you going to give it a go?