Paul Poulton comments on Rory Alec's 'moral failure'

Rory and Wendy Alec

The Daily Telegraph recently reported on the troubled marriage of GOD TV founders Rory and Wendy Alec, stating that Rory, "runs off with jazz singer as 'devil targets GOD TV'". The Telegraph went on to say that Wendy revealed he had run off with another woman under the influence of "the devil". Other headlines of a similar nature continue to grab the public's attention. The break-up of any marriage is a sad and tragic event; Rory and Wendy were a high profile couple, known in the wider world, so it's not surprising that people will have something to say about the break-up. Each marriage begins with a public declaration by the couple involved who "call upon these persons here present to witness." Family and friends are invited to a wedding that is held in the local community, which, among other things, lets all other possible suitors or prospective girlfriends know that the individuals getting married are now 'off the market'. So when a marriage ends, the ending is also made public.

The first I heard about Rory and Wendy's marriage breakdown was when a friend of mine said he was in shock. He was supportive and sensitive and tried to make some sense out of what had happened. Other people want to look at the bigger picture, and sensitivity may not be too high up on their list of priorities as they use the news of the break-up to 'have a go' at religious people. Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell is reported saying, the resignation of Rory Alec highlights "the hypocrisy of some religious leaders". Furthermore, some Christian people were quick to seize on the opportunity of Rory and Wendy's marriage woes to voice their opinion on what the real problem is with GOD TV.

In a democratic society opinions are important; they help us come to a consensus, guiding society incrementally forward. Possessing compassion and empathy when we make our comments is also important. Standing on a soapbox is okay, throwing the box at your opponent while they are down is not.

Clearly, some people who have faith, do things that fall well below the standard set by their faith. But that is not hypocritical, their 'moral failure' becomes hypocritical when they try to hide their misdemeanours and carry on as if nothing is wrong.

It is also true that GOD TV is not to everyone's liking. The channel has its own identity, it has carved out a broadcasting niche for itself that some people do enjoy, and in that niche the station will make mistakes because it is run by human beings, and a trait of us humans is that errors and blunders are a part of what we do. If GOD TV is one end of the spectrum then the BBC's Songs of Praise may be at the other. If we don't like the buoyant atmosphere of GOD TV's programming we can move along the line of radio and TV stations until we come to one that suits our nature. We may also feel inclined to pray for the people who are on a learning curve in their broadcasting ministry.

If you are not in possession of a robust constitution then it may be best not to read the 'readers' comments' of some web sites reporting on Rory and Wendy's marriage failure, or join in a discussion with colleagues who make light of the break-up, because news of Rory and Wendy's split may be simply 'sport' to some people. "The devil made me do it!" will get a few laughs and help the jocular few to suppose that having faith is no different to having none. Yet, we understand that temptation comes to all people; we sometimes say that three areas of temptation are 'the world, the flesh and the devil'. Each human has a choice in each area. Sometimes the appeal of looking successful in the 'world' is powerful and we may be tempted to tread upon someone else to get higher up the ladder of worldly advancement. Or a 'devilish' harbouring of a grudge may live with someone long after the offence that initially hurt them. Or we may underestimate the strength of the 'flesh': it is strong, very strong and suddenly someone may be in its grip without the necessary strength to pull away. Spiritual warfare is a very practical pursuit, let's not be fooled into thinking that shouting at the devil will erase temptations from our lives. We are body, soul and spirit so what we do with our body will affect our soul and spirit. The scriptures give us plenty of practical advice how to avoid falling to temptation. 'Bad company corrupts good character', is one example given to us by the Apostle Paul, there are many others, reading the Bible will help us in resisting the temptations that come our way.

Placing the blame on the devil for falling to temptation is not an option, nor do I think Wendy was saying that. Human responsibility is what counts, it's important, and recognising that fact enables people to move on with their lives. The Bible tells us not to separate what God has joined together in matrimony, which of course lets us know that it can, in fact, be separated. Similarly, "Thou shalt not steal" informs us that items can be stolen. Stealing ought not to take place, but sometimes it does. The Bible also says God hates divorce, God is not on his own here, most people hate it. It's not fun, I know.

Grounds for divorce in England and Wales include adultery, but only the non-defaulting party can use that option, which means that there must be a defaulting party to cite. What God has joined ought not to be separated, but when it has been separated trying to stick it back together doesn't always work. If a nice glass vase has been smashed to pieces, it is sometimes best to move on and buy a new vase. I guess we all know people who are in the heartbreak of splitting up with partners. Saying the right words to either party is probably too hard for most of us, but being there as a friend will help, and will help show God's love, which is still there in all our human waywardness.