Heather Bellamy spoke with author Cathy Madavan

Cathy: That is so crucial, because again, I think it's partly because of the culture we're in, that we are so easily able to compare ourselves with others. It's so easy for me, even today to go on social media and on Facebook and see people who can afford holidays that I can't afford; families that are doing things that my family don't do and see people achieving things that I haven't achieved. In my mind I can end up elevating them, but I'm only seeing snippets of their lives and not really seeing what's going on in their lives. But I can compare what I see of them with what I know about my own life and my own flaws and my own inadequacies and feel incredibly intimidated and insecure.

One of the things I really wanted to put across in this book is that we are all valuable. We are formed valuable; we are innately valuable, because if we believe that we are designed by a Creator God and he has a plan and a purpose for our lives, then we don't have to be perfect! We are all flawed and none of us are perfect, but we are all of unique value. I don't know whether we can really live a life of being satisfied and content unless we build on that foundation of unconditional love; of knowing that we are valuable, without needing to earn it, or to try and be it, or to impress anybody. We just are valuable. I think it takes a lifetime to really get to grips with this, but for me that's been increasingly the thing that has made a difference to me as I look at other people around me.

Heather: And how do we discover our own uniqueness and find a place to express that? Because that is also connected somehow to that value as well isn't it?

Cathy: Well it is and we are all so different aren't we? This is where for me, the role of the church and my Christian friends and family have been so helpful, because I don't think I really knew myself when I was younger. Certainly when I found my faith, I still felt incredibly inadequate and was trying to, you know, impress and maybe emulate other people. I would think things like, "I'd like to be as good as someone at this", or, "I'd like to be able to sing like them", or do different things and "I'd like to be gentle and quiet".

Gradually I've realised that God didn't make me gentle and quiet at all! He made me to be fairly bubbly and loud. I've found that quite difficult to accept because I haven't grown up with this foundation of love in my life that said I'm okay as I was. It's been the church and hearing different people speak and having friends who've come alongside me and said, you know what, I think you've got a real strength in this area, so rather than seeing all the negatives about yourself, why don't you start focusing on the strengths that come with your personality and actually lean into that a little bit. For me as a person in church leadership now, that's one of my greatest pleasures, coming alongside other people who maybe find it very easy to see all their flaws and say to them, 'hey look at the wonderful way that you are made and the things that you can do that no one else can do', and help them to really embrace that.

We've all got stuff in us. We might be great at hospitality, or listening to other people, or we might have a great sense of humour, or we might be brilliant at cooking, which I'd love to be, but I burn everything systematically. Thank God that other people can make cakes, because I get to eat them! So I think it's about all helping each other to thrive and to flourish and not being jealous of each other, but encouraging each other.

Heather: So what's the response to the book been?

Cathy: Well it's only been out a few months and when I wrote the book I kind of forgot that people were going to read it! I had this massive deadline on writing. It's been amazing just to all of a sudden get feedback from people and to see some of the reviews on the internet. People have contacted me through my Facebook page and Twitter and website and I've been so touched to see how the stories and questions that I've written in the book for people to reflect on - how this has uncovered and unearthed stuff in people as they've dug into their own lives in ways that I'd never really even imagined. That has been an incredible thrill to see how people have been impacted by all kinds of different things. It hasn't just been one thing. People have emailed me when they've been laughing out loud about some of the stories and have just said, 'tears are running down my face cause I'm laughing so much', and then other people have contacted me to say wow this bit has made me really re-evaluate my life and what I'm doing right now. So for me that's been incredible because the conversation that started out of the book now with different people is honestly an incredible blessing, something I hadn't really imagined.

You can buy Digging For Diamonds from Cross Rhythms Direct for ONLY £9.99