Heather Bellamy spoke with author and relationship expert Matt Bird.

I think I've got a very strong mind most of the time, although there are days when I battle with it. I'm very positive and upbeat. I see opportunities and ways out. I see things you can do and I work hard at disciplining my mind to believe that I can do things and that others that I'm trying to help can do things as well.

Heather: Interestingly, your background growing up wasn't one that was full of relationships, so how did you transition from being a child who wasn't allowed friends at home, to being someone whose life work is all about building healthy relationships?

Matt: In the book I talk about the doorbell ringing at home when I was growing up and my father putting the TV on mute and making my mum, sister and I hide behind the sofa and pretend nobody was home. In any sense, my home life was impoverished of relationships, but it's funny that that was what made me so passionate about relationships, because I feel that was missing.

There were a lot of wonderful things about growing up for me, but one of the things that was missing was relationships in and around our home. The reason why I am passionate about relationships and write and speak about it all the time, is because I know what it is like to not have those relationships.

Heather: Generally speaking, in Britain, in family life, work life, school and social media, do you think we are getting better or worse at doing relationships?

Matt: Gosh! Well the doom and gloom merchant would say there is a breakdown of trust in our society; trust in politics, trust in policing, trust in the media and you can go on and on, trust in the church. But also, there's what I call holy life and holy energy, which is where people are building relationships. Often they are unlikely relationships where churches are getting involved in the civic life of their town or city, where they are working in partnership with the police, or business; where they're working in partnership with the local authority and where kindred minded people are blurring the boundaries of where they form relationships.

There's what I call holy energy and holy life and so yes, there is an erosion of trust in our society, but also where people are working hard at relationships and building trust, things are changing and God's transformation is coming and that is a great encouragement to me, as I'm sure it is to you.

Heather: If somebody's got a relationship, which they feel isn't very healthy at the moment, what would your advice to them be?

Matt: My advice to you would be, ask someone who is good at relationships if they would meet with you and talk it through. To try and find a way you can be deliberate in your relationships.

Let's take marriage. Sometimes marriage is just blissful and sometimes it's awful. It's actually being intentional and deliberate and proactive in your marriage relationship and intentionally doing the things that express love to your partner in the way that they hear love.

So often we show love to others and love to our partner in the way that we want to be loved. If we love presents we buy presents for our partner; if we love words of encouragement and support then we exude those to our partner, but our partner's way of feeling love may be different to that. So in the relationship it's being attentive to them and deliberately trying to show them love, appreciation and value in the way that they can best hear that.

Heather: How can people buy your book?

Matt: That's easy, just go Amazon.co.uk and you can get it there in paperback, or in Kindle, or come and hear me speak somewhere. I tend to have a little box at the back and I'd love to sign one for you.